Growing Up: Did They Love Me?
by Jagfan 724
Summary: [Complete] I sleep in the broom cupboard under the stairs. I only have one blanket, but Aun’ Tunia says I might get another one next year if I’m good. Dudley has tons of blankets in his room! He must be really good.


**Growing Up**

By Jagfan724/Writerchic724

_Thoughts of Harry from various ages. A thought pensieve of sorts._

_AN: I took some liberty and made Harry really intelligent in his early ages. At least smart enough to write this stuff down._

* * *

_Age 4 _

I asked Aun' Tunia where my mommy and daddy were. She told me they died in a car accident and that they didn't love me. Then she slapped me and sent me to my room. It's not really a room. I sleep in the broom cupboard under the stairs. I only have one blanket, but Aun' Tunia says I might get another one next year if I'm good. I'm not 'pposed to know, but Dudley has tons of blankets in his room! He must be really good.

But Unc' Vernon says that's too big of an expense. What is an expense?

_xXxXx_

_Age 5 _

No one's there to hold me when I cry. Aunt Petunia and Uncle Vernon just yell at me and lock me in my cupboard when I do.

Storms scare me. It's always so dark in my room and the thunder is so loud. I can't sleep when it storms.

Dudley gets scared too. I can hear him running into his parents room. Sometimes, if he gets really scared, Aunt Petunia brings him downstairs and gives him chocolate cake to eat.

The first time I was scared I ran to Aunt Petunia. She just yelled at me to stop crying and told me to go clean up the kitchen. Dudley had left a mess from eating his cake.

There's another spider on my blanket. Last week there was a rat. It's dead now and still sitting in the corner. I smashed it with the cleaning bucket. Uncle Vernon won't let me take out.

_xXxXx_

_Age 6 _

Aunt Petunia made me cook breakfast this morning. There's now six red marks on my hands. They still hurt.

One of my fingers is bent funny. Last week Dudley threw his radio at me and it hit that hand. He said it was my fault that it wasn't working anymore. I don't know why it stopped working. I didn't do anything to it. I'm not allowed to touch his things.

Strange things keep happening I don't get. Last month Dudley's bike vanished from the garage. I only wanted to look at it and then Uncle Vernon came out and it was gone.

I wonder if my parents were still alive if they'd get me a bike.

_xXxXx_

_Age 7 _

I'm hungry. Since I burnt the eggs for breakfast yesterday morning, I'm to go without food for the rest of the week. Aunt Petunia said that way I'll learn to do it right next time.

It really was my fault. Dudley came in the kitchen and turned up the temperature when I was setting the table. I should have been paying more attention to the pan. Next time, I'll know better, I promise.

The school nurse made Aunt Petunia get me glasses. Miss Burrows said Aunt Petunia had to or else she'd complain to the cops about abuse or something.

So when we got home, she went up to the attic, pulled a pair out of a box and threw them at me. They're too big and keep sliding down my nose. When I told Aunt Petunia this, she said I was being ungrateful and told me not to complain again.

_xXxXx_

_Age 8 _

It was Parents' Day at school today. When I asked Aunt Petunia if she and Uncle Vernon were going to come and look at my work, she just laughed at me.

When I got to school, everyone else's parents were there. My teacher, Mrs. Miller, was really nice though. I got to work on my reading and play with the pet hamster while the other kids showed their parents all their work.

Dudley kept sticking his tongue out at me. Aunt Petunia and Uncle Vernon saw but they kept looking at Dudley's work. I don't dare stick my tongue back at him. I'll get locked in my cupboard again for a whole week.

I wonder if my parents were still alive, if they'd be proud of me like Aunt Petunia and Uncle Vernon are of Dudley.

Do you think they miss me wherever they are? I wonder what they look like. Did they love me?

_xXxXx_

_Age 9 _

Dudley got sent home from school again. For beating up another kid. When Uncle Vernon found out, he told me it was my fault. Because I'm a freak.

Dudley laughed as Uncle Vernon hit me again and again. Then he got more chocolate cake. I wonder what it tastes like. I've never tasted chocolate. Aunt Petunia makes me make him his cakes but she won't let me have a taste at all.

The bruise on my arm now matches the one on my chest that I got when Uncle Vernon didn't get promoted a few weeks ago. They're both the same greenish yellowish color. They were red and purple at first.

No one sees them because Dudley's clothes are so big on me.

_xXxXx_

_Age 10 _

Uncle Vernon got mad at me when I mowed the lawn today. I was supposed to edge it first, he said. I tried to tell him that I did, but he just yelled at me and hit me a few times. Said I was being insolent and cheeky.

He made me clean the garage and go without dinner for a week because of it.

I'm getting too big for the cupboard now. I have to go to sleep with my legs tucked up against me cause otherwise I don't fit.

Do you think my parents did love me? Uncle Vernon says that they were freaks who abandoned me. That I should have died with them.

Sometimes I wish I had died with them, because then I'd be with them, wherever they are. Then I'd know whether or not they love me.

_xXxXx_

_Ginny looked up from reading the tattered pages of paper at her brother. The look on his face showed his furiousness. _

_"Can you believe what they did to him?" he stormed. _

_"Ron," started Ginny. _

_"I know, I know, there's nothing we can do about it now. If they were still alive, I'd--" _

_"You'd do what, Ron?" a soft voice asked. _

_The red-haired man turned around to face his wife of 1 year, looking only slightly ashamed. _

_"These people were victims too. I'd say Tom Riddle got them back more than Harry ever could have," Hermione went on. _

_"I know, it just makes me so bloody mad!" _

_"Ron! Language!" _

_"Ron's right, Hermione," Ginny interrupted. "I mean, Harry never told us about any of this." _

_"What was I supposed to say? My Aunt and Uncle abused me ever since I could remember?" Harry's voice filled the entryway of what had once been the Dursley's house. Lord Voldemort had let his minions have their fun with the Dursley's moments before the Final Battle took place. All three were tortured for a few hours and then hit with _Avada Kedavra

_"Oh, Harry." Ginny rose from her knees and headed over to her husband to hug him. "We just wish we'd been there to help you." _

_"You've helped me enough through the years to make up for it," returned Harry, planting a soft kiss on her red hair. "Besides, Ron's right, there's nothing we can do about it now." _

_Hermione decided it was time to change the subject and move on. They'd had enough of digging into old memories for the day. _

_"Got everything you wanted then, Harry?" _

_He nodded to the small pile of boxes sitting by the fireplace. "Yup. Found some of my mum and dad's stuff up in the attic. I don't really have or want anything else from here." _

_"Good. Then let's go home. I'm hungry," announced Ron. _

_"Ron!" _

_"What? I'm a growing man." _

_The two voices dissipated as they headed to the fireplace, picked up a few boxes and flooed home. _

_Ginny took Harry's hand in hers and squeezed gently. "Ready to leave?" _

_"Yeah. Why don't you go ahead? I'll be right behind you." _

_"Okay. Don't be too long." She went up on tiptoe and kissed him on the cheek. "Mum's got a big dinner planned and Ron will eat it all if we don't get there soon." _

_He nodded and watched her step into the fireplace and disappear. The pensive young man picked up the stack of papers Ginny had dropped on the floor and glanced at them. _

_After a few minutes of skimming through them, he placed them back in the broom cupboard where they'd been found and shut and locked the small door. _

_The dark-haired, green-eyed man didn't look back as he picked up the last remaining box of his parents things and entered the fireplace. _

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_AN: Thanks for reading. Please review._


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